Real Talk: Ladies, I Know What You’re Thinking

I know exactly where you are. You’ve had a glimpse into the community of the women’s household and something is stirring in you. Maybe it's big, or maybe just a tiny bit, but there is something there. And you’re not sure if the house is really “for you” or sure if you want to live here next year.

About this time last year, I was a freshman happily living in the Riepe Mentor’s Residential Program. As a nursing student I loved being a two-minute brisk walk from Fagin Hall on those early recitation mornings. I had been lucky enough to make three best friends the very first week of school. We spent so much time together that you would have thought we lived together already. So when we were thinking about our sophomore year housing, we knew we were a packaged deal wherever we went. How cute would it be to have an apartment in the high rise? We basically had the same class schedule so we could eat dinner together, decorate our own space, live in a room with a view, and still have the on campus housing benefits. We were all involved in the Newman Catholic Center; in fact, we met at the Pre-NSO retreat, so our faith was central to our friendship. We had spent time in the Women’s Household for movie and game nights. We knew most of the women really well. We knew that starting sophomore year we could live there, but it wasn’t completely on our radar. We loved the house, but we didn’t think we were going to live there. There were other years for that, right?

*Glimpse into my brain in Oct 2016*

Do we really want to move off campus? The boy rule would definitely be an issue: some of our closest friends were guys and we loved hanging out with them. The House will always be there; we can just live there junior year. Fourteen girls in one house? That’s a lot of people! We’re already so involved in Newman; we don’t need the House. I wonder if people will make fun of me for living in a college convent. How will this affect my financial aid package? I can’t be stressed about making sure I still get the same amount of grant money or that my rent gets paid each month. I'm religious, but am I THAT religious...

(I know I didn’t get all thoughts I had, but I would say that’s a good majority.)

The Women’s Household Open House Week rolled around and knowing so many of the women who lived there we were invited many times. We didn’t want to be impolite so we went to a few of the events. One night, Claire and I decided we would go to household prayer.

We walked into the ladies gathered around in a circle with their journals and smiling faces welcoming us into their community. They went around the circle checking in with each other and even though we were strangers to some of them, it seemed like we knew each other forever. We read and meditated on Jesus saying “I am the vine and you are the branches.” Each of the women freely shared where Jesus took them in their prayer time and how it related to them. On a campus of Penn faces, they were honest and vulnerable. Then we sang a few praise and worship songs as Nicole started to play her guitar. It was the first time I heard "Restles"s by Audrey Assad (which I would later learn was a household favorite; check it out if you haven’t!). And in singing with these girls I prayed.

“Oh, speak now for my soul is listening

Say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark, the dark.

'Cause I know You're more than my salvation

Without you I am hopeless, tell me who You are

You are the keeper of my heart

And I'm restless, I'm restless

'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You

I am restless, I'm restless

'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You, Oh

I wanna rest in You”

I sang these words and I prayed for clarity on this "household v. on campus apartment with my best friends" decision. I knew in that moment Jesus was calling me to this kind of house. I was doing well in school, I had great friends, I had a family at home that loved me and made sure to remind me, I enjoyed my work study job, I was involved and active in groups on campus, I was so incredibly grateful and happy, but still part of more heart yearned for something more. Part of me was still searching. My heart was restless living the ordinary college experience. And my Father was there offering me something else, something that would call me up and out of myself into an experience that would continue to reveal my identity as a daughter. A place where He dwelled in the conversions, the prayers, the mundane, the laughter, the women, and all the little moments. A place where "heart and home are one."

And it turns out, He wasn’t just calling me! Claire had a similar experience that night and before you knew it my friends and I were applying and signing leases. And here we are!

So to all you ladies who are on the fence: DISCLAIMER, I’m not writing this because I want to market or advertise. I want you to know the truth. It’s not the typical college living experience. I mean I sleep in a queen sized bed and so does my roommate and we still have a ton of room! I can shower barefoot and there will never a used condom in the shower (yes, that really did happen #quadlife). Not going to lie I know Jesus gives us crosses to carry but my room is pretty cozy.

But in all seriousness, I want you to know that while I have no doubt living with my best friends in a high rise would have been fun, I have twelve housemates who have turned an old brownstone across the street from Amy Gutman's House (so yeah you bet we have good Penn police prevalence) into a home. Surprisingly, I haven’t been teased for living in a convent! Even morning prayer at 7:00am has been such a channel through which I connect closer to God. Thirteen people are not too many! I crave those moments at the end of the week when we are all together for house dinner. My financial aid worked out and this house it is a lot cheaper than living on campus (thanks again Jesus). I am blessed with plenty of guy friends, men of virtue and authenticity who are walking this same journey of faith and respect the rules! We don’t even have to ask them twice to hang out and they know that at midnight we will undoubtedly start blasting the Jonas brothers and Hannah Montana and say goodnight and goodbye to them. There is so much freedom and empowerment in choosing to live what is perceived as a countercultural life. And believe it or not, living in the house doesn't mean you'll never have a boyfriend. Some of the women are in dating relationships and the household structure allows these relationships to be even more intentional and authentic.

But more than anything I have a place to call home, a place where I can see and feel the ways the Lord is working. These ladies quite literally hold me up on the days when Penn’s expectations and definition of success seem so far away. They make it easy to Choose Joy! They push me along to not just live but evangelize. They hold me to higher standards. All those things the world told me I wanted in college, well Jesus showed me another path and I have absolutely no doubt that this experience is more fulfilling than anything else would have been. Because it’s not just another housing option, it’s an intentional yes to sisterhood, community, and Christ.

So you're right, you could just wait until next year or the year after. But I am telling you that Jesus has plans for you based on the very fact that you've even read this far! And they might involve you living in our Catholic Women's Household. You might be scared or unsure, but I encourage you to me. or any of our women. And know I'm praying for you no matter where you plan on living.

Header picture: From my journey on el Camino de Santiago, another experience where Jesus called me up and out of myself to something greater that would lead me closer to His heart!

1st and 2nd-my room, incase you can't tell I really like taking pictures

3rd: Picture from the first annual women's household Christmas party of my now roomie and BFF!

4th: Come talk to me! I'll be at these events and want to hear about what you're thinking or answer your questions and the ladies I live with with love too as well!